Perimenopause and menopause can bring a whirlwind of physical and emotional changes. While hot flushes and sleepless nights get the spotlight, the toll on mental health and confidence often flies under the radar. It’s common to feel out of balance, overwhelmed, or even disconnected from yourself. I know because I’ve been there. In my late 40s, I was juggling a demanding career, family responsibilities, and the demands of daily life, and I hit a breaking point. The burnout was real, and my confidence plummeted. As a Health & Wellness coach, I now see this same story unfold in many of the women I support.

The changes we face during midlife can feel unsettling, but the good news is that by making a few key mindset shifts, you can take control of your mental wellbeing and regain your confidence. Here are three powerful mindset shifts that can help reduce stress, improve mental health, and help you feel more empowered during this phase of life.

1. Embrace Self-Compassion: Treat Yourself Like a Friend

During times of stress and transition, it’s easy to be hard on ourselves, especially if we feel like we’re not coping as well as we "should". But as women, we often forget to extend the same kindness to ourselves that we offer to others. Learning to practice self-compassion can be a game-changer in how we handle the challenges of midlife.

Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in self-compassion, explains that self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same understanding and kindness you’d offer a close friend. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling off-balance or overwhelmed, recognise that these feelings are part of the human experience. By practicing self-compassion, you create space for self-acceptance, which can significantly reduce stress.

When you offer yourself kindness and understanding instead of judgment, it calms your nervous system and reduces the cortisol that builds up when we’re constantly self-critical. This shift in mindset allows you to handle stress with more grace and resilience, making midlife transitions easier to navigate. The next time you catch yourself being critical, pause and ask, “What would I say to my best friend in this situation?” Then, give yourself that same compassion.

2. Cultivate a Growth Mindset: See Challenges as Opportunities

Perimenopause and menopause can feel like a time of loss—loss of control, energy, and even parts of our identity. But adopting a growth mindset can help you reframe these challenges as opportunities for personal development and transformation. Instead of seeing changes like energy dips, mood swings and brain fog as signs of decline, you can view them as signals from your body prompting you to reassess and care for yourself in new ways.

Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on the growth mindset shows that people who believe their abilities and qualities can improve through effort are more likely to thrive in the face of change and challenges. By applying this perspective to midlife, you can remind yourself that even though your body and life are changing, you have the capacity to adapt and grow stronger.

This shift in thinking reduces stress because it takes the pressure off feeling like you need to have everything figured out. Instead of fearing the unknown, you can approach it with curiosity and the belief that you can improve your wellbeing through intentional actions. A growth mindset empowers you to stay engaged in life, try new things, and cultivate resilience. Each challenge you face becomes an opportunity for growth, not something to fear.

3. The Power of Gratitude: Shift Your Perspective

During midlife, it’s easy to get caught up in the challenges and frustrations. But focusing solely on what’s going wrong can create a negative feedback loop that adds to stress and anxiety. Research shows that practicing gratitude can shift our mindset toward positivity and improve our mental wellbeing. When we intentionally focus on what’s going well in our lives—no matter how small—it activates the part of our brain responsible for positive emotions and at the same time you rewire your brain to notice more of the good things in your life. This shift not only boosts your mood but also helps reduce the stress hormone cortisol, which can often be elevated during menopause.

Gratitude doesn’t have to be complicated. Here’s a simple practice: every day, take a few minutes to reflect and write down three specific things you’re grateful for—and most importantly, why you’re grateful for them. It could be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee in peace, sharing a laugh with a friend, or completing a task at work. By doing this regularly, you train your mind to focus on the positives rather than dwelling on the negatives. Over time, this small habit can create a more balanced perspective and positive outlook on life, which boosts both your mental health and your confidence.

Taking Control of Your Wellbeing

Midlife can be a tricky time, but it’s also an opportunity for growth, renewal, and self-discovery. By embracing self-compassion, cultivating a growth mindset, and practicing gratitude, you can take control of how you feel, reduce stress, and boost your confidence. These mindset shifts offer powerful, research-backed tools that can help you not only survive but thrive during this phase of life.

You are stronger and more adaptable than you think. By making these simple yet profound shifts in how you view yourself and your life, you can reclaim your mental wellbeing, restore your confidence, and approach midlife with a renewed sense of purpose and joy.

About Amanda Balcombe

Amanda is a Health and Wellness coach who specialises in stress management, burnout and mental wellbeing. A former award-winning Financial Adviser, she experienced burnout in 2021 and it became her mission to heal not just herself but use her passion for health and connection to support others regain their energy, confidence and enthusiasm for life. Amanda uses the latest evidence-based lifestyle medicine, positive psychology tools, accompanied by coaching techniques to help women find balance and vitality in their fast-paced lives.

Visit Amanda's website here