If you're struggling with stress, anxiety or feeling overwhelmed in perimenopause here are the 10 most common questions women are asking — and what’s really happening in your body and with your hormones. Isn't it nice to know you're not alone. 

If you’ve ever found yourself lying awake at 3am, heart racing, mind spiralling… and then googling “Is this perimenopause or am I just stressed?” – you are so not the only one.

And the searches don’t stop there. In fact, they get more specific. More personal. Sometimes a little confronting.

Things like:
“Why am I so angry at everyone?”
“Why don’t I want sex anymore?”
“Why do I feel like I can’t cope with my own kids?”

Stress in perimenopause isn’t just about feeling busy or overwhelmed.

It can change how you feel in your body, your relationships, and even your sense of self.

So, given April is Stress Awareness Month, let’s talk about it – openly and honestly.

These are the questions many women are asking (often quietly), and what your body might actually be trying to tell you.

1. “I'm in perimenopause. Why am I so stressed all the time?”

During perimenopause, your hormones – particularly oestrogen and progesterone – begin to fluctuate.

These hormones directly impact your brain, mood and stress response.

At the same time, cortisol becomes more reactive.

The result? Your tolerance for stress lowers – and everything (a normal Whatsapp message, someone asking ‘What’s for dinner?’ or another wet towel on the floor) can feel like too much.

2. “Why am I so angry… like, ragey?”

This is one of the most searched – and least talked about – symptoms.

Hormonal shifts, nervous system overload, poor sleep and mental load can all contribute to what many women describe as sudden, intense irritability or rage.

And the truth is, most of us were never taught how to cope when everything starts to feel like too much. We’ve been conditioned to push through, to hold it together, or to laugh it off.

But this is often the moment your body is asking for something different.

This is where support becomes essential – whether that’s nervous system support, targeted nutrition, the right kind of movement, or hormonal or supplemental support.

Because when you’re constantly running on empty, even the smallest things can begin to feel overwhelming.

And you don’t have to wait until that point to start supporting yourself differently.

3. “Why do I feel so overwhelmed by my own life?”

The life you’ve built hasn’t suddenly become “too much”.

But your capacity to hold everything at once has changed.

Perimenopause is often the intersection of:

• career pressure
• parenting (often teens)
• ageing parents
• shifting identity

Your body simply wants support — not more pushing.

4. “Why can’t I cope with my kids like I used to?”

No surprises, this search mostly comes up during the witching hour or when everyone else has finally gone to bed. And it carries a lot of guilt.

But it’s incredibly common.

When your nervous system is already stretched, even normal demands can feel overwhelming.

It’s not a reflection of your love.

It’s a reflection of your bandwidth.

5. “Why don’t I feel like having sex anymore?”

Libido changes in perimenopause are deeply connected to stress.

When cortisol is elevated and your body doesn’t feel safe or rested, intimacy often takes a back seat.

Add hormonal shifts, fatigue and mental load – and desire can feel very far away.

It’s not your fault and it may not be the fault of your marriage either. It’s your body prioritising survival over connection.

6. “Why am I waking up at 2–4am feeling wired?”

A classic sign of cortisol imbalance.

Instead of staying low overnight, cortisol can spike in the early hours – waking you up with a busy mind and alert body.

That “wired but tired” feeling is your nervous system stuck in overdrive.

7. “Why can’t I switch off anymore?”

Many women describe feeling like they’re constantly “on”.

This can be linked to:

• declining progesterone (your calming hormone)
• chronic mental load
• ongoing stress

Your body has forgotten how to downshift.

And it needs gentle reminders that it’s safe to do so. Write down three things you can do before bed to regulate and signal to your body that’s it ok to wind down. (And yes, switch of your phone and ditch the scroll). 

8. “Why do I feel anxious for no reason?”

Because your nervous system has become more sensitive. That’s not always a bad thing, but you can be kinder to it. 

Hormonal changes can amplify your body’s response to stress – even when there’s no obvious cause.

This is physiological, not imagined.

9. “Is stress making my menopause symptoms worse?”

Yes and often in ways that feel confusing.

Chronic stress can intensify:

• Hot flushes
• Mood swings
• Brain fog
• Fatigue
• Weight gain (especially around the belly)

It becomes a loop: stress disrupts hormones, and hormones increase stress sensitivity.

10. “Will I ever feel like myself again?”

This might be the most important question of all.

And the answer is yes but perhaps not the version of you who pushed through exhaustion and ignored what your body needed.

This is an invitation into something new.

More supported. More attuned. More sustainable.

So what next? 

Perimenopause isn’t just a hormonal shift. It’s a resettling of your nervous system, your energy, and your capacity. And it’s often your body, mind and soul asking for a different kind of support.

Top tip: Now is the time to really listen. 

Curious to learn more about The Perimenopause Weight Gain No One Warned Us About. Read all about it on the blog.