If I could speak to my 40-year-old self, I’d say this: welcome. You’ve arrived at a doorway, not an ending.
Your teens, twenties, and thirties were a wild, beautiful rush – full of movement, proving yourself, and holding so many roles at once. Those decades were loud with careers, babies, adventures, and accomplishments. You learned how to drive hard and measure yourself by what you did.
The forties are different. They’re quieter in a way that isn’t empty – it’s deeper. This decade invites you to shift from activity into presence, from doing into being. The things that once carried so much weight no longer do. That’s not loss; that’s liberation.
You’ll notice your body changing. The midsection may not respond like it used to, sleep may feel lighter, and you might find yourself more tired or crankier than expected. These shifts are real and sometimes inconvenient, but they call you inward. They ask you to slow down, tend your nervous system, and be kinder to yourself.
Beyond the physical, something unexpected awakens: a deeper knowing, a softening into unconditional love. This love isn’t earned by achievement; it simply is. Expansive and compassionate, it frees you from judgment – holding the whole messy, glorious you, and everyone around you, with a wiser heart.
The forties can also unlock new dimensions of curiosity and capacity. For me, this decade opened psychic sensitivity, an interest in plant medicine, and a deeper study of the Gene Keys that helped me understand my family and myself. What once felt supernatural began to feel natural. What once felt urgent – the ego’s anxieties – became something to observe rather than obey.
So here’s the tenderness I’d offer my younger self: stop battling the changes. Start listening. Choose practices that nourish both body and spirit: rest, gentle movement, honest conversation, and ritual. Let your inner life guide your outer work, not the other way around. Allow the wear and tear of life to turn you inward, rather than just polishing outward appearances.
Most of all, trust that this shift is a gift. The forties are not a decline; they are an initiation into a kinder, more spacious way of living. A life less about doing and more about wholehearted being.
This is your rite of passage into something truer: the understanding that real power isn’t in doing more or looking perfect. It’s in expanding into unconditional love, embodied wisdom, and a life that feels, finally, deeply yours.
For more about Shauna’s work visit shaunahawkes.com/
