The importance of telling the truth is something everyone will be faced with a thousand times throughout our lives. Whether it be about telling a friend that they’ve had lipstick on their teeth for the past half hour, or telling the nice barista at a café that they’ve completely stuffed up your order.

Sometimes though, the hardest truths to tell are the ones you must tell yourself.

We spend our lives self-examining - our outfits, worrying how others perceive us, why there are so many chins showing in my photos. But we avoid the part of self-examination that is hardest. The part where we look at the situation we find ourselves in and are really honest with ourselves about the reality vs the veneer.

In my case it took me many years to accept that I was in a very unhealthy and destructive relationship. There was always something I felt I could do to make it better, to be better. But it was clear that our values weren’t aligned. Our priorities were definitely not in line. But in the end, there were truths I needed to face, and I really had no choice.

The truth is that leaving seemed far more difficult than staying. Having to face life as a single mother, the financial worry, being told that I would never get a job to the same level that I had before, and my own insecurities (who would want to be with someone as socially inept as me?) So, I stayed, with a fear of being alone, and a fear of being judged for having failed yet again.

In the end the truth was pretty much shoved in my face. And what I feared came to fruition. Yes, I was alone as a single mother. But I also got a great job. It was hard work balancing young children and a full-time job, and now they’re teenagers, let me tell you it still is. I didn’t always get it right, but I did get my confidence back…after a time. Being single has been great overall. Yes, it’s exhausting making decisions on your own, but also liberating. It has allowed me to truly get to know myself, foibles and all.

I have learnt that being me is OK, being true to myself is liberating. I carry the banner of ‘I only have the capacity to be me’ with pride.

Breaking free of the lies I was telling myself, that life is scary, lonely and quite frankly that I would be a failure if I was single, has opened up my world to meet some amazing new people. I’ve discovered the value and support that the women in my life bring.

Facing the truth of my own insecurities has allowed me to open up a world of support from women around me. And this new world in fact birthed Eir Women which I founded with Lisa Walker. A core reason we started this journey is because we wanted to support women going through the same challenges as we were, and do it in a way that ‘gets’ the truth about this life stage we are in of hormones, laughter and straight-out adrenaline.

Would I change one thing? Yes, I would have been brave enough to tell the truth to myself a lot earlier. So stop, don’t worry about the noise around you, and tell yourself the truth about yourself and what your wants and needs are and embrace it with bravery.

Love Kate xxx